Things I realized watching vintage 90210 while on the elliptical

• I can stay on that beast of a machine far longer while watching Beverly Hills 90210 than any other show or movie. Perhaps this is due to the hypnotic quality of dancing sideburns and highly dramatized whining.
  
  
• As much as I thought I had a hip ironic perspective on the show when I watched it religiously as a teenager, I still didn't get the full extent of this cheese plate.



• Do you remember Revlon's Toast of New York lipstick? I remember in New York at the time every woman, girl, and drag queen in New York lived and died for that color. Kelly and Brenda's lips also sport that bricky brown shade in their angst ridden pursed lips.
  
  
• Brandon is much cuter than I remember.



• Dylan looks more like a llama than I remember.



• Kelly and Brenda were not nearly as freakishly skinny as their modern day counterparts (I'm looking at you, Misha Barton, or how ever you spell your name,) despite the fact that in the 90s they represented the starlet body ideal. (Though to be fair, the Kate Moss waif thin look came out about a year or two after these early 90210 episodes, and Hollywood soon followed suit.)



• Seriously, you'll be amazed at how long you'll make it on the elliptical while watching this show. It's transfixing. Or maybe it's just the dizzying array of early 90s attire (sequins, fringes, and stretch lycra skirts)



• I never realized how absolutely awful Brenda was to her poor suffering mother. Nor did I truly grasp what an all around annoying bitch she was. This is only interesting because Brenda was supposed to be the down to earth Midwestern straight man to Kelly's Beverly Hills Bitch.



• Really. 48 minutes of elliptical torment flew by like nothing. I'm TiVo-ing every episode henceforth.